HELLO, my dear readers.
I hope you are all having an amazing day. Can you believe it is already the middle of February? Wow! There are so many incredible things just around the corner, and I can’t wait to hear your updates and read your blog posts.
Today’s blog post is going to be a little different. This is going to be an “emotions” post, where I update you guys on how I am feeling in life and whatnot. Writing has always been a therapeutic activity for me, as I’m sure it is for you, and I love being able to use this outlet to jot out my thoughts and receive feedback from you guys. Thank you, as always, for your gracious comments and prayers for me. ❤
And without further ado, I’ll just state it simply: I’m on the verge of burnout.
Burnout is a terrible feeling. It’s when things aren’t going your way, and you find that the things that once made you happy aren’t doing you justice anymore. It’s ruthless and powerful.
As humans we experience a wave of emotions. Sometimes we’re propelled into outer space, we’re so happy; others we are in valleys void of water, and droughts bloom in our hearts. Though I think we all hate the droughts while we’re in them, it makes that taste of water that much better. Growth isn’t possible without both highs and lows, and this is something I try to focus on when I’m on the verge of burnout.
So what’s going on? Why am I feeling this way?
I can trace the beginning of it to last week, when my friend group got into a massive argument. While things are better now, this argument exposed a deep fracture in these relationships, and as an INFP I have been really affected by how things are not what I thought they were. I value loyalty and friendship above most things, but not when it destroys my happiness.
These thoughts may seem harsh, but I cannot stand drama. As a person who always takes the middle of the road approach, I’ve found myself on a ledge where no one else is. From being in the middle, I have found myself pulled in two directions, and I’m tired of it. I’m sick of the sting of selfishness. And people are the way they are.
Though I want to find fault in others, I know part of the blame belongs to me for how I handle things. I allow people to walk all over me, because I want to help others in all I can, though this causes pain and hurt in my own walk. We can only carry so much before collapse. I’m sure some of you guys can relate.
As a result of this friend group problem, I have started to analyze the situations around me. There are certain aspects of my life that are absolutely incredible, things I would never change, but there are others that leave seeds of doubt in my brain. I hate wasted time, and I feel as if a lot of it is vanishing before my eyes.
However, I value so many relationships outside of this situation, the people who have listened to me talk nonstop about these frustrations. My family is an integral part of this, and without them I know things would be so much worse. Plus, you guys have also contributed to helping me through this state of anger, and again it means the world to me that you have chosen to listen. 🙂
And to clarify… Flying has given me an outlet to escape my college world. It is the thing that keeps me grounded right now, though the weather has been pretty terrible in Southern California in the past few months. However, the sun always comes out in the end!
If you guys are also going through burnout, just know that eventually it will end, and things will return to normal. However, we have to be willing to do things to relax our frazzled brains. We have to repair ourselves in order to find happiness, and if this means cutting out certain relationships or activities, we must do it to gain ourselves once more.
The truth: Things will change.
Until next time,
P.S. Life is great. Though I am hurt in some aspects, I am very happy in others! ❤