updates

BREAKING POINT (an update)

 

Hello, my dear readers!

As I write this, it is Tuesday night in California. As you read this, it will be a different date and a different place, but I hope you all are doing incredibly well and that you are happy wherever you are in this grand universe of ours.

One of my latest posts, “Burnout,” has received much attention due to the fact that I revealed some difficult stresses in my life right now. Your support has meant the world to me. Though I rely on my family, friends, and God for so much, I know that I have this community to help me as well, and that makes me so incredibly thankful. But since you guys are a part of my life now, I wanted to update you a little as to what’s going on.

Recently it has come to my attention that, as an INFP personality type, I let people stomp all over me. One of my traits is that I love harmony, and I try to include people on everything and everything, to the point of undermining my own mental health. This very thing has happened to the point of my breaking point. What does this mean, and what happened? Well, let’s answer these questions.

I am a pretty calm person, and I rely on zen. I’m an individualist by nature, but I crave unity for every person with whom I come into contact. Analytically I search people’s eyes, looking for hurt and happiness and all sorts of elements. It may be weird, but it’s also who I am. I rely on what I can detect, and I value intuition.

My friend group has been putting me through a lot lately. Relationships are always work. We know this. If there were no issues in our relationships, then would they really be relationships? It’s because humans want specific things, and others don’t. It’s because we value certain things, and others don’t. So now I’m going to be selfish for a second. I don’t want to admit this, but it’s the truth, and it’s something I value: I’ve come to learn that I’ve put too much of my energy into other people.

People are why the world matters. They’re the reason that things get done, societies are built, and love can spread like wildfire. They do stupid things, and sometimes they’re so ridiculous that there’s no questioning motive. But sometimes it’s the opposite. People can manipulate and stab each other’s backs. They can eat their friends alive, leaving nothing but the bones behind.

Basically, I have come to the conclusion that out of my friend group, I am the person who listens to everyone: Their stories, tragedies, and goals. I love this, because human connection is crucial to my happiness. But it has gotten to the point where I have been verbally attacked for not taking sides and, quite honestly, for being myself.

A friend group of five people is not ideal. That’s what I’ve learned, not when each person comes to the table with different expectations and refuses to listen to others. It’s especially not ideal when four of the five begin to form sides, and the fifth becomes caught in the crosshairs.

I still believe in mediation. I believe that I handled myself in the best way possible for the situation, and I stood up for myself and my values. I am not sorry to be a happy, conflict-free person. I am not sorry that I wish the best for others, though I am sorry that it sometimes harms my soul in response. I am not sorry that I canceled a trip to Hawaii in order to go home to Tennessee because of disrespectful individuals. And I’m not sorry for taking a stand and not going with the flow for once.

Growing up is a hard thing to do. It’s something we will all hopefully experience. It’s a chance to melt your skin and bloom into who you were always meant to be. Though there are tough, tense moments in this time, I am still grateful for the life lessons I’m learning. Through it all, I have found meaning in the people who have respected me and wished for my happiness. There were countless friends and family members who helped me through this time, realizing that I was jeopardizing my mental health for people who only wanted to belittle me for remaining a friend to everyone.

To those individuals, thank you so much for listening to me and putting up with my antics. You saw how hurt I was, and I’ve seen your good hearts.

Things ebb and flow; that’s life. At this point in time, I’ve realized that I’ve wasted so much time on certain relationships that have cost me other ones. (Economics and opportunity costs, anyone?) But I’m glad to have come to this conclusion now rather than later.

Sometimes we must reach our breaking points in order to find the solution to our problems. Obviously, we must handle situations with respect, but we cannot be trampled on forever and ever without some sort of blowback. Be yourself, be humble, and remember that good comes from even the worst of situations. Treat others like you want to be treated. It shouldn’t be that hard of a concept, but for some it is.

Therefore, my dear readers, I hope that you understand I am in a better place now. I am going home in less than a week for my spring break. I am flying solo, in more ways than one. 😉 I have seen so much good in people, even when I’ve seen the bad too. And I’m hurt, but I’m also working to mend myself in the process.

Do what makes you happy, as long as it doesn’t cost the happiness of others. And, as one of my friends sweetly reminded me, “After a hurricane comes a rainbow.” 

Until next time,

-K.

IMG_4782.jpg
After a hurricane comes a rainbow. (Mar del Plata, Argentina // December 2017)

 

 

 

 

 

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20 thoughts on “BREAKING POINT (an update)”

      1. Oh God!!! I had no Idea. I will investigate this problem,
        my answer.
        I can send you an overlay, maybe you wont (url) was pummeled or whatever, i am honest, and always speak what i think to protect me and the other from dangers.dir too !!! do not worry about it !!!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. ;;;:____:;::__:_:_:_:_______________________(°J°)
        meine antwort :: keine ursache >>>>>>> ende!!!!! (FUN))Vielen Dank, dass Sie mich wissen lassen !!! Und danke noch einmal, dass du es mir erzählt hast. Schütze dich immer !!! 💜____________________________________________>>
        am very happy to do my time on the internet I am on the way with my knowledge of people one or the other tips or helps in different issues in general social life what concerns human, nilzeitung is (science street) While always allowed to agitate with humor and can, nilzeitung is no bank, or savings bank, nilzeitung can not be a color or difference or religions, first place is optimism and no kapitalismos nilzeitung has nearly one quarter milunen visit and has a lot of people helping in the circles, first humor in our communication is just friendly people,
        nilzeitung, is not a computer or human, nilzeitung is always peaceful,

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It’s awful to go through all the drama and witness close group fall apart, and you being the only person that seems to care about it. But, I guess it’s only natural for every relationship to get challenged, a way of universe poking it and saying let’s see if this is really what it claims to be.

    There’s a quote from Euripides that says: “Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.”. In a way, maybe it is necessary to have arguments and difficulties, just to see what kind of people you have around you and how much you can count on them when you are really in trouble.

    What you have said about craving unity with ever person you meet – this just might be the best quality a person can have, and in the same time absolute curse. It’s great because it promotes all the good things that we desperately need in the world – loving each others, taking care of each others, finding ways to support community, to try and make every individual happy. In a healty society this would all work out.
    But we don’t really live in healty society, and many times it can hurt that what we give is not what we get back. Unity is not always possible. But I think that’s ok too, we should learn not to take it to our hearts; we should be inspiration to people no matter what we get back, showing them that there is something deeper to the whole story.

    Sorry for long comment 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for the response. I truly appreciate it. I 100% agree with you on the fact that sometimes our relationships must be tempted in order us to figure out how true these relationships actually are. Furthermore, your opinion on unity is wise as well. It is impossible to unite everyone, though we can strive to love all, take care of them, and help everyone find happiness. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Your care means so much to me. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We so appreciate you sharing with us here on WP! Isn’t it amazing that you can have friends from around the world that you have never met face to face who care for and about you? It is Awesome. Glad to hear that you are better than before! As my daughters reminded me of over a decade ago was that – “Friendship is a two way street and if it’s not that with one of your friends then you need new and better friends that feed your soul too”! Sounded to me like some of your friends may use you as a “Counselor” and enabler?? So, maybe you should try this out. As an experiment, for awhile, try not asking them about their life or issues and start paying attention to how much and how often they really want to know and care about you!! Then you will know if you are on a one way street!!

    I really loved the end of your post – “Do what makes you happy, as long as it doesn’t cost the happiness of others. And, as one of my friends sweetly reminded me, “After a hurricane comes a rainbow.” Walk on your own pathway, even if it is a crooked one, at least it is your own. Let those that want to be fellow travelers with you join – You!!

    Also, I want to send you the Biggest Hugs ever for being one of my very best followers – Ever!!! I can’t tell you how very happy and pleased I am to see you in my email alerts everyday and see all of the posts you have viewed!! You make sharing the wonderful words of others worth doing! I beg your forgiveness for not having posted your works – I am fixing that as of 2.7.2019! I will look forward to posting more of your works too!
    Love and Hugs,
    Chuck
    xoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Chuck, this is so kind of you. I am being honest when I say that your comments are so genuinely kind, and I really appreciate them. Thank you for reading my posts and listening to me. Your comment of “Friendship is a two way street and if it’s not that with one of your friends then you need new and better friends that feed your soul too” is very helpful. I am definitely going to try this out in the future and see what happens from there. I really hope you are doing well and that life is going great for you. Thanks again, Katie. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Katie, I’m so happy to hear that my comments can be helpful for you!! Just remember it’s just me, from my perspective and life experience and may not always fit for you. I do appreciate being able to connect and share! You should be very happy to know that your sharing and comments are being read by so many and are appreciated!!

        Things are well to be sure!! Happily married to my Soulmate and we have a little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel – Winnie!! And I hope that life is going well for you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Life isn’t always easy but it is so worth the journey!!
        LAH
        Chuck
        xoxoxo

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Chuck,

        Thank you so much for the sweet comments. You are such a kind soul, and it always makes my day brighter to receive comments like this.

        That is amazing to hear about your soulmate and your sweet Winnie. It makes me so happy to hear you are also doing well and enjoying life.

        Also… Your quote is amazing: Life isn’t always easy but it is so worth the journey. This is 100% accurate, and I will be sure to use it in my daily life.

        Thanks again,

        Katie

        Liked by 1 person

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