thoughts

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Hello, my dear readers!

Long time, no see. I am officially back to the blogging world, and I’m very excited for the new year ahead. I’ve got some ideas that I can’t wait to share here, and at the same time I am just as excited to read what you all have to share with me. ❤

In the meantime, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I hope that wherever you are in the world, you are happy, safe, and with those you love. It is holidays like these that remind of us of our blessings, and it is so crucial that we do take a moment to thank God for what He has given us.

Some of you probably aren’t the biggest fans of Christmas and the holiday season, but I urge you to consider what the season is all about. While society has made a big deal of the materialistic aspect of gifts, gifts, gifts, there is a deeper point to Christmas and why it applies to all of humanity. So… Without further ado, let’s look at some of the most important takeaways of Christmas.


1. GIFTS ARE TO BE GIVEN

It is no secret that you, me, all of humanity–we like getting gifts. We all want things. Some of us are hoping for a shiny engagement ring this Christmas; others hope for something as simple as a new pair of shoes. But in the midst of all this desire for things, we must remember that gifts are to be given.

Huh? What does this mean? Aren’t you supposed to give gifts so that you get what you want?

Well, not exactly. It is better to give gifts than to receive them. Why? Because you’re doing something for another person. You’re ignoring your own wants to provide the wants of another. And trust me, there’s nothing better than seeing your loved one (or a stranger, I might add) open a gift and smile bigger than Texas.


2. LOVE ON DISPLAY

The holiday season is about love. Without getting too soppy, I’ll say that the song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” is a good one to listen to. In these weeks of celebration, family is hugely important. Whether your family is blood, or your family is your friends (or maybe a pet LOL), you must be with them. Why do I require it? Because we don’t know how many Christmases we get on this planet, and it’s important that we savor family time while we have the chance.

And this is the perfect time to love on people, even if you want to slap them or disappear due to the family drama. And another thing, we’re not just supposed to love those we know. We’re called to love those we don’t know, and we must be kind to all we meet. That is what I love about the holidays: That, despite the manic tone in the air, there is also a feeling that… Maybe, just maybe… We can slow down and take the time to show kindness to those around us.


3. THE BIRTH OF THE SAVIOR

Some people don’t celebrate Christmas for this reason, but I’ll tell you that to me it is the most important. Christmas, which I like to think of as “More Christ” (Christ + más, which is “more” in Spanish), is the day in which we celebrate the birth of a particularly lovable baby named Jesus Christ, the very baby who would one day grow up and save the world. Sounds like a story, right?

True stories are the best kind.

No one really knows when Christ was born, but we take December 25 as an opportunity to commemorate the birth that would change everything in human history. Some speculate that his birth was actually in the springtime, but I’m going to be tart and say: I don’t really care when he was born. I care that he was born, and that he lives!

This is the true reason for the season, as they say. And even if you don’t believe, I ask you to read Luke 1:1-20 and Matthew 1 & 2:1-11. What does it hurt to read about a baby that was born to be the savior of the world? Even if you don’t think it’s true, you can’t not say it isn’t a compelling story. ❤


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I also like Christmas because of the crazy lights like this pink tree! (Memphis, TN / December 2019)

Merry Christmas, everyone! Again I am so glad to be back on this blog and posting content for you guys. But this is also an opportunity for me to get to know you all better, so keep writing and recommending things to me. I love hearing from you!! ❤

Until next time (which will be soon),

-Katie Kay

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writing

SHADOW (a short story)

SHE DID NOT know where she was going. She had no idea if she was headed north or south, although she could probably take a glance up into the night sky to follow the stars. What she did know was that her hands were glued to the steering wheel of this nondescript car, and the car kept straddling the lanes, unsure where she was going too.

“Where am I, where am I, where am I?” she hissed to herself, lungs quaking with fear. No one responded. Who would respond?

Momentarily she was blinded by the hot sting of her tears, and the pain inside her was enough to blind her forever. But her eyes stayed open, and she saw through the blurriness the straight-shot arrow of the pine-fenced road. The darkness was almost quaint, if she’d take a moment and soak it in, but now it felt dead and gloomy, an invitation to a sepulcher.

“Okay. Enough,” she muttered to herself, certain that her teeth would snap out of her head from her frayed nerves. She needed to keep it together—or at least act like she could. Of course, that was easier said than done. She needed a memory, an image, a vision, anything, to remind her that she knew who she was. She had to fight through it.

But in this darkness all she could think of was… Well, nothing good. What she remembered was suffocation, a kind of suffocation that terrified her more than the blackness outside. A suffocation from despair, a suffocation from nothing going to according to plan, a suffocation from the person she supposedly loved most in the world, and…

She whistled between her teeth and bit down hard. Her jaw ached, but she had to distract herself, and this slight pain drew her eyes down to the wedding ring, where her promise for forever was chained to her finger, her body. Maybe she shouldn’t go back into those dark memories that would swallow her up, those memories that would force her to relive the pain over and over again, each time in a slightly different way. Instead her gaze darted to the dashboard. Sixty miles per hour. Pretty fast for a hair-thin road, especially when there seemed to be some fog rolling in. She pushed her foot against the brakes.

Nothing.

Though the car wouldn’t brake, it felt like her heart had bounced out of its cavity and smashed straight into her bones. She gulped down bile and pressed her heel down once more.

Nothing.

She slammed on the brakes.

Nothing.

She floored the gas pedal, and the car galloped to seventy.

“You’ve got to be kidding!” she screamed, punching the wheel, her knuckles bruising.

Realizing it wouldn’t do her any good to wound herself further, she concentrated on keeping the violence down, and considered some possibilities. Maybe she was dreaming, and this was some terrible, acidic nightmare that she’d laugh at in the morning, try to interpret with the Internet’s help; maybe this was her brain’s way of compensating for some traumatic event (and there were plenty of those to pick from), and she needed a good night’s rest; maybe she was just being silly, and needed to try the brakes one more time.

If there was a time to pray, it was now.

She did. Nothing happened.

Which meant that there was one more possibility, one that she refused to accept just yet: This was real. The car was moving all on its own.

Her hands unclenched from the wheel, and the car steered itself. It went perfectly with the road, as if it was a train on the tracks. And she knew the car wasn’t controlling her body, but it felt like it. Her chest hurt, and she gripped her collarbone, aching to breathe properly again—needing to breathe properly again. The bruises were nothing new, but they ached more and more with each passing mile, as she escaped farther and farther away, as she entered the unknown more and more. Her eyes bubbled with tears again, and she was certain she was losing it. This had to be a nightmare. It had to be.

But why did everything feel so real?

Something flashed nearby, a light sparking to life. The bright glow belonged to her cell phone that had fallen onto the floor of the passenger’s seat.

“At least the car is driving itself,” she hissed, and stretched herself to fish the phone from the darkness. She scooped it up and was ensnared by the simple text message that had made its way through, a remnant of her true life. The life she had abandoned in favor of this mysterious bolt from everything she had ever known.

Her collarbone ached.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

The slow drag under. She felt like she was in a pool, and someone was taking her by the back of the head, pulling her deeper.

WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER ME?

Why had she brought the phone? She should have left it elsewhere, tossed it out the window, so there would be no trace. So there would be no ability to fall for any more of his traps. He loved to set them, just for her. And when she’d realized how many of them waited for her, it was too late. Her misery was something she could change, but it would cost her everything she had: mental, physical, emotional. She just had to escape. She had to get out of there, even if it was the middle of the night, even if it was to nowhere at all. Nowhere was better than where she’d been before.

SARAH, I’M SORRY. JUST PLEASE ANSWER ME, OKAY?

She lifted her eyes again and caught the glimpse of the rearview mirror. The person she expected to see was not there, and in her stead was a morphed version of herself, an image of horror and grief. There were spots all over her face, violet and ugly. While she was revolted at the sight of herself, she barely moved, unable to believe the image she saw. How could she believe it, even when the proof of her pain was as clear as this? But suddenly… Something didn’t seem right. She knew she was hypersensitive—she had to be—but this was different. She scrutinized the mirror and felt her blood boil when, in the empty backseat, something shifted in the pitch black.

She screamed, slammed on the brakes again, and the car flew off the side of the road, crash landing in a nearby ditch.

A few seconds passed. Silent seconds, until there was a slight dripping noise. The stink of oil and blood rose through the air, and Sarah realized that a few drops of scarlet had fallen from her nose onto her wrists. Something sharp cut into her neck, a silver cross necklace. She then noticed that she was hanging upside down, her dark hair tumbled below her.

This night is never going to end, she thought to herself.

Everything seemed hazy, surreal, as if gravity itself did not work properly here. As if time did not work properly here. As if certain moments sped up like a bullet, and others slowed to a trot.

A car crash. She’d just been in a car crash. Her body was buzzing from the pain, but she gritted her teeth and managed to unbuckle herself. Before she knew it she was falling to the ground. She collected herself like a wounded animal and crawled through the broken window, surprised at the ease it took her to get out of the mangled car. Sarah pushed herself up from the wet, muddy earth and stood, analyzing the sight of the mess before her. She was really lucky, she decided, to have survived. Maybe it was more than luck. Luck didn’t seem to fit the bill when it came to how crushed the car was. A little ounce of hope dawned over her. It had to be a good thing she survived this, right? It had to mean something. She had been a survivor all her life, especially in these past few weeks, when his hands had sucked each breath out of her lungs.

As the thoughts flickered away, Sarah’s neck burned. She pushed her hand against a thin trickle of blood from where her necklace had cut her, and she repositioned it so the cross hung properly against her neck. Her fingers grazed against the silver.

Sarah walked along the back of the car. The license plate seemed to be the only thing still in one piece, tags from Georgia. How had she made it out of this? The sight before her was brutal. She kneeled down and examined the broken window she’d climbed through. She had to be careful, as she didn’t want to pierce her skin amidst the endless shards of glass, but her curiosity was killing her. She’d been stupid not to check the car when she had the chance. Yes, she’d been overwhelmed by the fact that the car was practically driving itself; in fact, it wasdriving itself, and she’d only been able to stop it when…

Her heart fell into her chest.

Sarah gulped and fell back, the shards of glass piercing her. Her body twisted from her awkward fall, and in the process she caught a glimpse of a dark figure emerging from the broken window. She bounced away as fast as she could, but she knew she was too slow.

She ran out onto the road, her throat raw from shrieking. There was no one out tonight, no one at all, and she felt the hope dissipate when she considered that she hadn’t seen a single car in what felt like months. Why couldn’t there be another car? Why did she ache to escape into the maddening darkness instead of a big city? He’d try to find her no matter where she went. It was her fault she craved isolation.

Isolation. The thing that had propelled her here. How she ached for it, and now she was here in this horrible nightmare. That thing in her backseat was the whole reason she’d crashed anyway, she remembered now: Ithad been there, an obscure shifting thing. She’d seen it in the rearview window, and it had terrified her so much that she’d driven straight off the road.

Sarah was definitely crazy. At least she knew that now. A woman who’d hopped into a black car in the middle of the night to escape her violent husband? Believable. But a woman who’d imagined a dark figure in her backseat? Who’d envisioned a car that wouldn’t brake or drive like she’d wanted it to? Maybe she was on drugs. Had she taken any drugs? Had she beendrugged?

She had to have made it up. She’d been running for a while now, and she was so tired, and her body hurt so much. All she had to do was take a peek over her shoulder, see if she was still being followed, but it was very possible that nothing would be there, that it had all been in her head. She’d been told that for months now, that she didn’t really know anything at all. So how was this any different?

Sarah was scared, but she paused in her tracks and turned around. At first, there was only the road again. Out in the distance was the glimmer of the totaled car, but there was nothing on the road. No psychotic masked ogre following her with a hatchet. No, there were only peaceful pines that seemed to blow back and forth in the gentle night breeze. And that creepy fog that seemed to inch closer and closer to her as time bled on.

Peaceful.

Almost.

As she rolled her eyes at how stupid she’d been, how crazy she must be, the hairs on the back of her neck rose, and her hands shook. She looked down at them and remembered the shards. In the moonlight her skin appeared normal. Normal for her. The bruises on her arms still glowed, imprints of man’s violence toward her. But where there should have been blood from the car crash, there was none. In fact, her entire body seemed to float, though she was tethered to the ground by fear.

The breeze pounded into her, and then there was a whistle, shrill and fierce. A garbled voice whispered into her ear: “Move.”

Sarah froze.

It said again, more forcefully this time: “Move!”

It had to be right there. It had to be, and before she lost her nerve, she needed to twist around to confront the dark figure. The thing that had been in her backseat. But before she could, the road lit up with the high beams of an approaching minivan.

A force slammed into her. Sarah was unsure what propelled her out of its way in time, but she fell to the shoulder of the road as the van whizzed by. As she stared down the street, the haze coming closer and closer, the van suddenly screeched to a halt. The entire image seemed vague, out of focus, as she pushed herself up and raced back to the scene of the crash. Sarah screamed as loud as she could, hating the sound of her voice, but she needed this driver to acknowledge her. He’d take her to the hospital, save her from this black hell, and she’d never go outside again. She’d never step foot in a car again, either. No, she’d walk everywhere from here on out, and that way no dark figure would appear in her backseat ever again. No dark figure would strike out against her ever again, whether that be a person she loved or a shadow in the blackness. She would make sure of that.

When she neared the van, she felt relief and hurried up to the driver. He was a middle-aged man, clean-cut. A woman appeared beside him seconds later, and she must have been his wife, because her wedding and engagement rings glinted in the light. She yelled at someone in the back of the van. Must be their kid. A beautiful, happy family. A family brought into her horror, she realized guiltily.

Sarah shouted, “It was me! I need your help! This is my car!”

But the man seemed to care less. He was stepping closer to the wreck, a pained look on his face. Why wasn’t he listening? Sarah was screaming so loud, but he refused to acknowledge her. She moved up to him, patting him on the shoulder, but he didn’t budge.

“Scott,” said the wife, tears in her eyes, “we should call the cops. Call someone to get out here. Let them handle it. Don’t go over there.”

The fog came closer.

Her husband shook his head. “What if somebody’s in there? Someone was obviously driving it.”

“Me! I’m right here!”

The woman’s lip quivered. “Do you really think you’re going to find anybody in there?”

“Call the cops,” said Scott. “Don’t come near it, okay?”

Sarah felt like her heart would rip right out of her. Why couldn’t they hear her? They didn’t need to go to the car, not when she was right here. She was right here. “Why can’t you hear me? I’m okay, I’m alive!”

“Make sure the kids don’t see anything, okay?” Scott added, a thousand lines cutting across his forehead. He couldn’t have been older than thirty, but he seemed to have aged ten years in two minutes.

“All right,” agreed his wife, pulling out her cell phone.

Sarah’s bones hurt again. She screamed, terrorized by the fact that this couple didn’t seem to see her. Did anyone ever really see her? She trailed the man named Scott to the mangled car, and she heard him cough in disgust. She felt his terror when he stumbled back from the car, a grown man who’d seen too much, and she saw him vomit and recoil, hurrying away from what he’d seen.

“Why can’t you hear me?” she yelled at him. Why did this keep happening? She wanted some control back. She wanted her choice, her freedom. It had been gone so long. “Why won’t you listen? Why won’t anyone ever listen? What did you see?”

The stillness seemed to spin. Things were misting up again, as if she was experiencing severe vertigo. She tried to keep herself up, but when she heard Scott’s cries she shut her eyes and imagined herself a world away. Somewhere with a sunny sky, a tropical beach, her hand unmarked by the curse of a wedding ring. The thought woke her back to life, a place where suffocation would swallow her up. She’d never forget what had happened. It was her curse to bear. It wasn’t fair; it never was. But it was still here, just the same, even as she hurled her wedding ring into the crushed car. She should have tossed it into the darkness long ago.

The mist was sweeping over the trees now, sweetly devouring everything in its path. With visibility diminishing faster and faster, Sarah watched as the man named Scott rushed to his boring but practical little minivan. He wrapped his arms around his wife, tears dropping down his skin. Oh, how he would never let go. Oh, how his wife wouldn’t either. And, oh, how Sarah would always understand the feeling, the feeling that no one would ever let go, since the memories would stay with her forever, even when her own body did not.

Time sped up again, a mental mist hanging over like a veil. She was there, but she knew she wasn’t. Not really, or they’d be able to hear. They’d try to hear. And suddenly then there were cops and EMTs and passersby and the minivan and the darkness and the fear and the mist, a collection of souls who should not have been there to assess the wreckage. But it was their job to do so. She stood in the midst of them all, as they collected her physical body from the wreckage and they said things they didn’t think she could hear:

Oh, how sad it is.

Wonder if she was drinking.

Such a beautiful girl.

Not so much anymore.

Not so much anymore.

She listened to those who would never listen to her back. The fog came closer.

At some point, something caught her eye. A flash of moonlight spilled down onto the shiny, broken metal of the car like a spotlight. A shapeless black figure stood at the spot where she’d died. The thing was unimaginable, but it was there just the same. Maybe it too listened to those who would never listen to it back.

Sarah breathed the rich pine-scented air all around her. At least she could breathe again. “What do you want?” she asked.

“Move,” it said.

Somehow she understood what this meant. It was giving her a choice. She bit her lip. Her collarbone ached. Some scars never go away. If she followed the shadow, she was unsure where she’d go. But if she didn’t follow the shadow, she’d be stuck here, rooted in place, unsure where she’d go but alone.

The figure seemed to accept her resistance, and then it glided beyond the car. It passed by the men in uniform. It hovered over one man’s shoulder in particular, as if sensing something for future reference. But then it turned back around, and it continued on its path, slowly and quickly approaching the flash of a beautiful black car on the road. Shiny and new it gleamed.

As Sarah followed, she became aware that the fog hung all around the car, eventually closing up any connection to the realm where she’d once lived, and once died. It was a dismal fresh start, but it was an opportunity, and so she followed. Her blood boiled with nerves, but she’d made her choice. Sarah pinched the cross on her neck. It was the only thing she’d kept of herself.

The car door was already open for her. She took a seat, things feeling eerily familiar, eerily normal. There was a dull throb in her body which she was sure would never go away, as certain suffocations remain with us even after we’re dead. The door closed, she buckled her seatbelt tight against her abdomen, and she checked the rearview mirror, finding her shadow snug in the backseat.

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, is it?” she asked, not expecting a response.

“Move,” said the shadow.

She hit the gas pedal. The fog lifted, and the car blasted off down the road.

thoughts

GIVE THANKS

Hello, my dear readers!

I hope all is well with you in your nook of the world. ❤ In the United States it is time to celebrate Thanksgiving, in which it is very important to take a moment and reflect on what you are thankful for. For some of you guys, this may be a day off work; for others it may be the fact that you are at home with family after months of being apart. And for some of you… You’re probably thinking: What in the world even is Thanksgiving, and why does it matter?

That is why I have a few things I want to explicitly state my thanks for! I did this last year as well, but I really do believe it is important to give thanks for all the blessings in this life. Even when we are in our lowest of lows, we must remember that we have things to be thankful for. ❤


1. FAMILY

We all should be thankful for our families, even if we want to strangle them at times. This Thanksgiving I am extremely happy to be back at home with my parents and sister, and it is moments like this when I remember how fortunate I am to be with them. We don’t know how much time we have on this planet, so we must make sure we express our feelings accordingly.


2. FREEDOM

In the United States we are very familiar with the concept of freedom, and it’s something to truly appreciate. Many men and women have died so that we can live with the freedoms this country provides, so I will be eternally grateful for this.


3. FRIENDS

It is also very important to show your gratitude and appreciation for friends, whether you have fifty of them or two. Whatever you do, make sure you tell your friends why you love them and lift them up, even when you want to strangle them. (Please do not strangle your friends.)


4. FLYING

During the Thanksgiving holiday I am thankful for the opportunity to fly home from California to Tennessee. But also on a different level… I am very thankful to be able to fly as it will become my career. Therefore, this is something I am happy to have discovered, and I am thankful for everyone who is helping me achieve my goals!


5. YOU

Thank you so much for reading this blog, and I am thankful for each and every one of you. You guys are amazing, and I hope you know this in your hearts. Now remember to give thanks for these things in your own life, and also consider making a list so you can identify what matters to you.

Give thanks! It is my command for you on this day.

Stay warm and happy!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay ❤

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updates

I DISAPPEARED (again)

Hello, my dear readers!

Let me apologize again for going MIA once more. While producing quality content for you guys is one of my greatest joys, these past few weeks have been intense. I cannot wait for the days when I will be able to write more, and those days are coming soon (I promise!).

Since I’ve been gone for a few weeks now, I thought it would be fun to give a little update post as to what’s been going on. Before I do that, though, I want to say that I miss reading your posts and getting to know you guys better. Here in a few weeks I will be reading all that you guys have for me, just so keep that in mind. 🙂

So… Without further ado. Here we go!

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Clouds over Malibu, CA (November 2019)

1. BATTLING QUITE THE COUGH

A few years ago I made the interesting choice to study abroad in Argentina, and one of the lasting effects of that decision is the fact that I have a violent cough that comes back twice a year. I’m pretty sure it is chronic bronchitis, but my university’s doctors do not believe that (of course not, right?). So in a few weeks I’ll be making the trip over to a lung specialist to see how damaged my lungs are.


2. FLYING BEYOND BELIEF

In the past few months I’ve accrued about 100 hours of flight time. The reason I’m writing this on the blog is that I want you guys to know that I haven’t been intentionally ignoring you; I’ve been swamped with other things. (Although I hardly count flying as forcing me anywhere but into the clouds, and I like being in the clouds LOL).


3. HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK

As a college kid there is a lot of work to do. Factor in five classes, even if the degree is only in Spanish, and there’s much to do. Most of my free time is eaten up this way, but I want to alert you guys to the fun news that I’ll be done with this in three short weeks. That’s right, I’m graduating college. Chau, California! (And I say this happily.)


4. THE SHORT STORY SURPRISE IS COMING SOON

Here in a few weeks I will release a short story I wrote for creative writing class called “Shadow.” It’s pretty dramatic, and I was hoping to release it back in October in time for Halloween. However, I forgot that I can’t release it until I’m done with class, so I will be posting it here shortly. 🙂


THANK YOU!

As always, thank you guys for being part of this journey. All your support has meant so much to me, even when I’m not as active on the blog. Don’t worry, that will change soon!

Now… How are you guys doing? Keep me updated, and I promise I will be following all you’re producing so, so soon!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay ❤

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thoughts

DREAM — OCTOBER 24, 2019

Hello, my dear readers!

Today’s post is going to be a little different than normal. If you read the title and wondered, “What in the world does this mean?” then you’re in for quite the surprise. Today I’m going to recount a weird dream I had a few days ago.

Hold on, what?

Yes, you read that correctly. We’re diving into a dream I had a few days ago, since I believe there is some interesting information to glean from it, and this blog could do with a unique post that will hopefully fascinate you and challenge your own self along the way. And as my wise Momma J said, “Put it on the blog. See what your readers have to think about this dream.”


THE DREAM.

I am standing in a college auditorium. I have no idea what class this is, or who the professor is, or anything at all (the magic of a dream, I suppose).

But eventually it becomes clear that this class has a guest speaker, who turns out to be an old man lecturing on science. He asks the class a few questions, but no one knows the answers, and suddenly he starts to look very sick. His words are slurred, his eyes glaze over, and then he falls down, hits his head, and dies.

No one does anything. All these college students just stare, uncaring, as if they’d rather be somewhere else to avoid this “embarrassing” situation. Realizing that no one is going to do anything, I jump up  and run to him, screaming that someone needs to call 911. I look up in horror and notice the old man’s wife sits in the back row, her head buried in her hands.

Two friends then appear: One who is studying to be a doctor, and another who is studying to be a nurse. They jump into action and hurry off to find help. Eventually, they return with a group of doctors who pronounce the old man dead and place him in a body bag, but ask if anyone in the room wants to do CPR on him.

My friends and I volunteer, but when I step up to him, there is now a brain on top of the body bag. And yes, I perform CPR on it.

This does nothing (of course), and then we are shooed out of the auditorium, where the college kids are laughing, joking around, and taking pictures of nothing. They’re excited we’re out of class, even if it means an old man is dead.

I get fed up and go back into the auditorium again, where I find my parents. My mom looks at me in horror and says, “Let’s get out of here.”

Then I wake up.


WEIRD.

So very weird indeed, but I thought it would be interesting to hear your perspective on this dream. Obviously we shouldn’t take dreams to be literal perceptions, but it is very interesting to analyze what our brains produce in our sleeping state.

Luckily my dreams have been happier since then, but this one was definitely one to write down. Maybe one day I will come back to it and understand everything, but as for now… I’m mystified!

Anyhow our next post will be a little more normal. (Hopefully!)

And in the meantime, try not to do CPR on any brains out there. 😉

-Katie Kay

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thoughts

THINKING AHEAD

Hello, my dear readers!

I hope you all are doing well on this beautiful Friday. Here in California we are experiencing the wrath of the mighty Santa Ana winds, so please keep this state in your prayers as we brace for more wildfire threats.

For today’s post I thought it would be interesting to do a “Thoughts” post in which I ramble a little bit. It’s been a while since I’ve shared my thoughts with you all, so I hope you don’t mind if we stray away from poetry.

Before we start with the thoughts, I want to alert you as to some posts you can expect to see in the coming weeks. Sometime soon I will release my short story “Shadow” here on Katie Kay! It is a psychological thriller that I wrote for creative writing class, and I’m pretty excited about it. Additionally, I want to do a November challenge for Thanksgiving. For those of you are unfamiliar with Thanksgiving, just know it is a time for Americans to congregate and eat a bunch of turkey. Okay, really Thanksgiving is a time for family and appreciation. Therefore, I am thinking about what I want to do to spread my appreciation in the month of November via this blog.

All right, so let’s head into the topic for today… 🙂

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In the middle of California, I think (August 2019)

1. THINGS FALL INTO PLACE — SOMETIMES

Why does it seem like some things are meant to be, and others make no sense at all? Well, that’s the mystery of life. And it hurts when things don’t go according to plan, but then that makes the fulfillment of our goals even sweeter.

As my college years come to a close, I’ve found that certain things have most definitely fallen into place, and for that I am very thankful. But when it comes to other things, well… I just scratch my head and wonder: What in the world?

Accepting the reality that things (may) fall into place is important, but it’s not earth-shattering. Instead we must remember that we are in charge of our destinies, which leads me to my next point…


2. HARD WORK PAYS OFF

Man didn’t get to the moon overnight, so why do we think we will blink an eye and things will magically fall into place? (See what I did there?)

I am a believer in hard work. One specific example of this relates to a friend back home. After graduating college in three years, she returned home and spent a month straight studying for the MCAT, the very difficult exam to enter medical school here in the States. She spent eight hours a day dissecting study books while hunting for her first post-college job. (Yes, eight hours. A day. Hug a doctor if you see one.)

The day before the test, she received a phone call asking her to come into a health clinic for a job interview. Not only did she ace the interview in the midst of her final MCAT prep, but she aced the test the next day. And right after the test, she received another phone call. This time: A full-time job offer.

See? Things fell into place, but because of hard work. And the truth is that my friend has always remained humble about her success.


3. WE ARE LIVING STORIES

While we have established the connection between #1 and #2, another random thought that has popped into my mind for this post is the fact that each of us has an incredible story we are living every single day. And there is power in the fact that not one story is the same.

While it is almost sad to consider that we have a beginning, climax, and ending, I find comfort in the fact that we are blessed with time on this planet. Therefore, we should be humbled and respect our time here so that we can live life to the fullest. It may sound cliche, but it’s true: We are living stories, and if we want to write a good one, we have to pursue our passions, live with honesty, and remember to honor those who came before us.


4. HEART & HOME

When I was eighteen-years-old, the only thing I wanted to do was move away from my Southern town. While it made me nervous to move two thousand miles away, I didn’t really mind the idea of hitting the road and getting gone.

Plot twist: It didn’t take long for that same girl to realize, Shoot, I have no idea what I’m doing or why I came out here.

It also didn’t take long for me to realize where my true heart and my true home reside. Not all of you are like this, but I pray that you find your home one day and respect your surroundings. What I really mean is that home isn’t a place; it’s people. 


THANK YOU!

Thank you for reading this post. I hope my rambles have had a positive effect, and you can take a moment for yourself today to reflect on life’s mysteries. Sometimes we underestimate the power of prayer, a few seconds to ourselves, and a chance to breathe.

Take that moment for yourself today. You won’t regret it!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay

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poetry

regret (a poem)

wallow in your grief,
swallow your regret.
dig your nails into my skin,
your words claws in my ribs.
i didn’t ask for this, the answer
a gunshot through my head.

yet you haunt me at night, dear Regret;
you smile at me with scarlet eyes,
your lips pale and pink, teeth starched
white and oily, waiting for me.
you wait to pull the skin from my bones,
and the merriment from my blood.

i didn’t ask for you; i never wanted you.
but instead of sweet wishes and dreams,
curlicues and unicorns and glitter,
you came to my doorstep, holding
a letter, addressed to me from you:
Katie, I got you, when nobody else does.


AN EXPLANATION.

Oh, my dear readers, just know you are not a regret I have!

We all have certain things we regret, whether that be a choice, relationship, you name it. Though I’d like to pretend regrets don’t bother me, deep down they do. So I have a feeling they probably affect you too.

So while it’s fun to write poems about them, it’s not very fun to admit that you do have regrets. But that is why I encourage you (and me too, to be honest) that we cannot change the past, and that we have the beauty to change our trajectory in the present moment. We can do what we need to do to shape the world the way we want, and that’s the power of our choice. Of course, we may not be able to get exactly what we want, but sometimes it’s more about the attempt than the result.


THANK YOU, MY DEAR READERS!

Thank you guys for joining me today. I know I have not published anything in a while, so I just wanted to thank you guys for coming back to this blog after a few weeks of inactivity. This blog is definitely not one of my regrets. ❤

That’s all from me for now. It’s good to be back!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay.

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Sunset over Goleta, California. 

 

updates

AN APOLOGY

Hello, my dear and wonderful readers!

I hope your October is off to a fantastic start, although at the time I’m writing this, it’s almost the middle of the month, which is an incredible thought. But are we surprised time is flying this fast? Probably not. 😉

Anyway, I do want to send off an apology for my absence these past few weeks. Life has been an incredible whirlwind, and I’ve found myself busier than normal. Therefore, I promise I have missed reading your incredible posts and devoting my time to this project, so I am very sorry to have been missing in action since September. That being said, I’m excited to write again and continue to read your works. Please continue sending me any materials you wish to share, and I will do the same.

I have missed each and every one of you, and I’m excited to share new content soon!

Until Monday,

-Katie Kay

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Views over Los Angeles (October 2019)
books

5 QUICK BOOK REVIEWS

Hello, my dear readers!

Another week has gone on by, and in its place is a new weekend. Can you guys believe this is going to be the last weekend of September 2019? It’s a weird thought, but it’s kind of cool to think that October is just around the corner.

For today’s post I thought it would be interesting to share my thoughts on the last 5 books I’ve read. I did this on another post over the summer, which you can check out here. Since most of you guys are literary minded, why not share our book recommendations with each other? (Although I’m not going to be able to recommend every book on this list, I’m sorry.)

So, without further ado, let’s get to the list!


1. A ROOM OF ONE’S OWN by Virginia Woolf

This essay was originally published in 1929, but it reads as if it could be written today. Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own is a stinging feminist collection published from her time as a guest lecturer at Cambridge University in London, and to be honest it does seem like something I’d read in my creative writing classes.

The principle point Woolf makes is that female writers must have a room of their own in order to write well and make a life for themselves. In order to do this, she showcases the history of women in literature and extends it to the still-rigid era of her own works.

As a writer I appreciate Woolf’s sentiments, and I do think the essay is relevant even today. That being said, it’s not written to entertain you, as it’s a critique on society as a whole. Woolf’s arguments are valid, but it’s not an essay that is meant to make its audience feel warm and gooey inside.

Overall, I’d give it this score, out of a possible five: ◊◊◊.


2. THE NARRATIVE OF THE LIFE OF FREDERICK DOUGLASS by Frederick Douglass

The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass is a chilling tale that made me think, “How did this happen? How was this real life?” But that is the power of this autobiography from the freed slave and avid abolitionist Douglass, whose storytelling is passionate and uplifting as he describes the harsh reality of slavery. Douglass wrote his autobiography with the utmost care, and it shows throughout the narrative.

This book is not for the light-hearted. It asks its reader, even in the modern day, to consider the disgusting practice of slavery, in the Americas and elsewhere. It reminds us that just two hundred years ago, slavery was legal in my home county, the United States. But it also reminds us that so much has changed since the successful case for abolition, and that we must remember what happened so that it does not happen again.

Please read this book! It will make you appreciate everything you have in life.

Overall, I’d give it this score, out of a possible five: ◊◊◊◊.

 


3. 1984 by George Orwell

I know, I know, 1984 is a classic, and I’d never read it before, which makes me feel like a fool. 1984 is one of those books that a person must read. It’s got so much in it, and I feel cheated since I was never required to read and analyze this book in school.

While this novel is rather politically charged, I think its depiction of totalitarianism is necessary for one to consider when it comes to government reach. Though I don’t want to go too far down the rabbit hole (you can read the book if you’re interested), there is so much in this book to dissect and think for oneself. What happens when the government controls every aspect of our life, to the point that freedom of speech is so heavily monitored that dissent is impossible?

Well, 1984 forces its reader to think of the possibilities.

Overall, I’d give it this score, out of a possible five: ◊◊◊◊.


4. THE DOVER DEMON by Hunter Shea

While the previous novels were classics, let’s consider a book that was recently published by Hunter Shea, The Dover Demon. We’re shifting genres as well, and heading into the science fiction/horror realm.

The Dover Demon takes place in a small Massachusetts town called, rightfully, Dover. In the 1970s, Dover was hit by a conspiracy known as “The Dover Demon,” in which a creepy humanoid creature was discovered by a group of teenagers. Flash forward to the modern day, and The Dover Demon story remains. Except this time… There’s no playing around, and The Dover Demon makes an appearance.

While I think this plot could have been so incredibly interesting, Shea’s writing seemed rushed and confusing. The opening section of the book was strong, but it read completely different than the latter section of the novel, as there was a shift in scenery and pacing. Plus, the ending was so ridiculous that I sat the novel down and thought, “Okay. Shea must have been on a serious deadline from his editor, because there’s no way this is legit.” ;/

Whatever the case may be, the story had an interesting premise. The delivery falls flat.

Overall, I’d give it this score, out of a possible five: ◊◊.


5. A FIRE SPARKLING by Julianne MacLean

As a fan of romance novelist Julianne MacLean for years, I wondered how her latest novel, A Fire Sparkling, would turn out. She’s best known for her Color of Heaven series, but she smartly took a turn and published this standalone that is equal parts romance, World War II drama, and family saga.

A Fire Sparkling introduces us to Gillian, a career woman who has recently discovered her boyfriend has cheated on her. Despondent and dejected, she heads home and discovers that her grandmother was not who she said she is… And there’s quite the story that follows. This summary does this story no justice, but I ask you to read this book. Please, read this book.

It’s entertaining, it’s thoughtful, it’s clever, and it’s original. I don’t want to write too much, because I want you to be as surprised as I was. But please support Julianne, and read this book! Her hard work really paid off, and the novel reflects this.

Overall, I’d give it this score, out of a possible five: ◊◊◊◊◊.


THANK YOU!

All right, you guys! Thank you so much for reading this post, and I hope you got some good book ideas of what to read next. 🙂 If you have anything to share with me, leave a comment below, and I’ll definitely check out your recommendations. There’s nothing quite like reading a book, and I know you feel similarly, so do not hesitate to share!

Thank you guys, as always, for being so supportive! I hope you enjoy your weekends and make smart choices.

-Katie Kay.

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