updates

RIP FLUFF (2014-2020)

IMG_1435A week ago today my beautiful and wonderful Fluffy passed away after a few weeks’ sickness. This guinea pig was not just a silly old guinea pig; she was my first true pet, and she was a good one. Over the years I watched as people screamed at her (thinking she was a rat), held her like a baby (thinking she was the cutest thing alive), and overall saying, time and time again: “How fat is this thing?” The answer to that question… Huge!

We got this sweet pig in the summer of 2014 before my junior year of high school. During my last two years of high school, Fluff was an incredible therapeutic almost-stuffed animal who would squeak as I held her and did my homework. She was incredibly docile in those years, even when my sister and I fought over who would hold her and “exercise” her.

When I went off to college, I missed Fluff a lot (though never as much as friends and family. I’m a proud pet owner, but not a ridiculous pet owner hehe). But she was always there when I came home, squeaking when I entered the room to ask for a veggie snack. While some things feel like they will never change, they do, because now whenever I walk into the house, I’m greeted with silence, although sometimes I swear I can still hear her squeaking for food.

Fluff was a great pet. She taught me responsibility (cleaning a pet’s cage every week is not the best part of being a pig owner) and care. There’s something about holding a pig to your heart every day that turns you into mush, even if you think: “Who would ever have a guinea pig?” Trust me. I was one of those people. (Fluff was supposed to be my sister’s pet. Plot twist…)

But she also taught me a lesson. That just because you think someone will be there forever… Doesn’t mean it will work out that way. Yes, Fluff was only a guinea pig. But after her death, my sister broke by heart when she said: “Katie, if this is what’s it like when we lose Fluff, what’s it going to be like when we lose Mom and Dad?”

We don’t have to worry about that for a long time. But I do want to make it clear that we don’t have forever on this planet. So make sure you hold your loved ones a little longer tonight. If you have a pet, hold him or her a little tighter. ❤

Rest in peace, my little piggy, mi cariña, the pig who was the size of a mountain, my dear Fluffy. You will be missed. ❤

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blogging

Blogger Recognition Award <3

Hello, my dear readers!

Welcome to a surprise Tuesday post. Much love and gratitude to Tamara Yoncosky, a fantastic blogger and writer, who nominated me for this award. It is moments like these when I remember and cherish each and every one of you who reads this blog. ❤ And in the meantime, please go check out Tamara’s lovely posts at her website here.

It doesn’t seem like this blog started three years ago. I feel like I just started writing, but that’s not exactly true. In 2017 I was a young student on a plane that jetted me from the United States to Argentina. An aunt suggested I write a travel blog to commemorate my time abroad, and so I began this blog as a testament to her good idea. Not only did I fail miserably at keeping up Katie Kay! during this time, but I barely wrote anything at all.

It wasn’t until 2018 when I began to write this blog in earnest, and from there it took off. Since 2018 I have found myself indebted to you all, all over this globe, and that is why I am humbled to receive an award like this. In Tamara’s post recognizing outstanding bloggers, she wrote that my blog is “du coeur,” which translates to of the heart. This instantly uplifted my soul, and I hope and pray that my blog will uplift you as well, even if for a second.

For those of you just started your blog or are in this for the long haul, I want to give you two pieces of advice. Firstly, invest in others’ blogs. Yes, you have a quality voice, one that needs to be heard. But you’re also asking your audience to read your material. So why not return the same favor to others? Please read, comment, and listen to those who also want to share their stories. Secondly, understand that you must invest in your audience. Remember that you are writing to those all around the world, and they want your material to be quality material. They want to read your true opinions, or they wouldn’t take the time to actually read your blog. So write from the heart, but keep in mind that you want to write things that are valuable.

Now, for my my favorite part: Recommending other bloggers for this award!

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Luna: Pen to Paper

http://lunatheblog.com

Brilliant poet… Everyone should read her materials!


The Eclectic Contrarian

https://theeclecticcontrarian.wordpress.com

Fantastic Christian philosophy, incredible poetry, and an amazing human being. 


The Reluctant Poet

https://thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com

Beautiful poetry from various writers, always has a positive spirit. ❤


Miss Givenchy

https://senoritagivenchy.home.blog

What can I say about this blogger? Well, there is too much to write. And she knows what I think about her anyway. MUFON! 🙂


Equipping Site

https://equippingblog.wordpress.com

Quality content from a Christian perspective… And a dear friend!


Ayansola Ibukun

https://ayansola.wordpress.com

Attentive writer who pens his words from the heart.


tarunaswritingworld

https://tarunaswritingworld.wordpress.com

Honest, thoughtful writer with a heart of gold!


JOVIAL

https://amessiah.blog

Dear writer who promotes a positive outlook on life!


To those nominated… Please write a response to each listed below. If you’d like, of course.  🙂

  1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and provide a link to their bio.
  2. Write a post to show your award.
  3. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Select up to fifteen bloggers you want to give this award to.
  6. Comment on each blog to let them know that you’ve nominated them, and provide a link to the post you’ve created.

Thank you all for reading this. Even if I did not “recommend” you in this post, please know I enjoy reading every single one of your blogs, and I think each and every one of you is a fantastic writer with incredible potential and opportunity. Your voice will be heard by many. Just keep writing!

Until next time…

-Katie Kay

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q&a

Q & A time!

Hello, my dear readers!

It’s a new year, so why not do a new Q & A? (This is my attempt at trying to be cool, but I know it is failing miserably.) On a more serious note, I realized I have not done a Q & A in quite some time, so I thought it would be fun to answer a few nonsensical questions for you guys. And I want you to answer as well!

So, without further ado, let’s commence!

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Random Route 66 finds. What am I wearing? (Tucumcari, New Mexico // August 2019)

1. Are you a dog person or cat person?

In all reality, I’m a guinea pig person. I’m kind of scared of dogs and cats since I’ve never had them as pets. That being said, I would much rather be around pups!

2. Are you a fan of any sports team?

I used to be a diehard Carolina Panthers fan (NFL football). But now I do not watch sports at all. (Too much time devoted to this blog! 🙂

3. Are you a good cook?

I’m getting there. I do enjoy cooking, but I’m not the biggest fan of trying new things. That being said, my friend and I did make a nice chicken penne pasta dish a few nights ago, and our cooking skills were put to the test. We didn’t burn anything, and we didn’t get sick, so I find those two traits the sign of a slightly average chef in the making.

4. Are you a hoarder?

To a certain extent, yes. What do I mean by this? I hoard books. I’ve got hundreds at this point, so I should probably donate them soon to the local library. But I love walking by all of them and reviewing what I’ve read. (You may relate to this.)

5. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Naturally a morning person. I enjoy rising with the sun. During college I was a night owl because everyone else was, but my natural self is a morning gal.

6. Are you close to anyone now that you initially disliked?

Yes! I won’t name names, but yes. Which is a life lesson of… Give people a chance! You never know who will end up being extremely important in your life.

7. Are you high maintenance?

I hope not!

8. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?

Avoid, avoid, avoid. I hate conflict. I wish life were always rainbows and unicorns, but that’s not how it goes. When certain lines are crossed, a certain beast in me is unleashed, and I engage it head-on, but that has to be an extremely rare occurrence (such as an attack on friends or family).

9. Are you named after anyone?

Yes! My middle name, Kay, is after my grandmother’s middle name. So whenever someone says Katie Kay, he or she is honoring my grandmother! ❤

10. Are you scared of heights?

Nope. I guess that’s a good quality to have when one is a pilot. 🙂

11. Can you dance?

I’m the worst dancer in the history of mankind. But I do enjoy a good electric slide!

12. Can you do a split?

I’m also the least limber human being in this universe, so the short answer is no.

13. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

What kind of a question is this? Who has a tongue that long?!?! Is that possible?!

14. Can you whistle?

Yes! Finally something I can say yes to.

15. Describe yourself in a single sentence?

Katie Kay is a redonk individual who loves to ask questions, blog, study UFOs, and take quick trips across the sky.

17. Did your mother go to college?

Yes! She graduated from Eastern Washington University with a degree in English Literature.

18. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

I do enjoy a nice membership at Costco. There’s something pretty entertaining about getting lost in this warehouse store for a little bit. Normally I hit up the book section and find some cheap keyboards to play.

19. If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be?

Don’t be a creative writing major in college. (More on this to come, I promise!)

20. If you could live forever, would you rather stay one age forever or get older?

Just because I could live forever doesn’t mean I’d choose to. 🙂 Maybe this is a sad outlook, but I don’t want to live forever on this planet. There are better things in store. Plus, it would break my heart if I was on Earth forever while my loved ones were not.

21. If you could save just one, would you rather save Humanity or the Earth?

Another weird question. How would I save humanity without Earth? Whatever, I won’t question too much. Duh, I’d save humanity! While Earth is amazing and a great home, humanity far outweighs Earth.

22. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Pilot!

23. What do you call carbonated drink called?

Soda?

24. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?

I’m pretty lucky with my sleep cycles. It takes me a few minutes to fall asleep, but I always plan out stories with this spare time. But on the rare chance I can’t sleep, I toss and turn or listen to music to calm my brain down.

25. What do you do most when you are bored?

Unfortunately I look up nonsense on my phone. Another favorite is messing with my sister.

26. What do you like about your home?

Family!

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A perfect description of my life.

THERE YOU GO!

Some random nonsense from me! But seriously I want to see your responses, so don’t be afraid to comment below with your own answers. ❤

Well, for now I’m gonna go, and I’ll probably still be pondering question #21, because how in the world would we have humanity but no Earth? All right. Enough rambling today.

Until next time,

-Katie Kay

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poetry

on the dark side (a poem)

on the dark side
of the cold moon
i stand alone
waiting for you

drowned in

your dark shadow,
lost memories,
as your light fades
over centuries


AN EXPLANATION.

While I wish I could provide a definite explanation for this poem, my dear readers, the truth is that I am unsure the true meaning. I always enjoy decoding symbolism behind everything, but this is a poem borne from my stream of consciousness.

Who is the narrator, and why is he or she in the darkness? What kind of cosmic darkness hangs above the narrator’s head? And why is the narrator waiting? Why is the narrator terrorized by the memories he or she experiences from the past (“the light”) that is fading?

I wish I could tell you. Maybe you can tell me.

Stay tuned for Monday’s post! And once again thank you for joining me on this journey. 2020 is still fully ahead of us, so let’s live with both kindness and question of the world around us.

Until next time,

-Katie Kay

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thoughts

20 RESOLUTIONS FOR 2020

Hi, my dear readers!

It’s that time of the week again… Another post from yours truly! Since we’re headed into the magnificent year 2020 in just two days, I thought it would be amazing to follow up 2019’s resolutions post, which you can check out here.

While we go through some of my dreams for 2020, I want you to consider your own. Maybe jot down a few, say them out loud, or commit them to memory. Do whatever you have to do, but I want you to think of some as well, okay? Thank you!

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Happy New Years from a certain HUGE guinea pig. 🙂

1. Learn to play the guitar

Well, this is actually very similar to one of my 2019 goals of learning to play the ukulele! While I have learned to play my trusty uke, I’m ready to upgrade to a guitar. For those of you who play this instrument, what are some recommendations do you have for a beginner guitar? 🙂

2. Step out of my comfort zone

While I feel as if I have been slowly inching out of my comfort zone since adolescence, I have taken to doing things a little more adventurously than what I would normally do. Therefore, I want 2020 to be a year in which I’m confidently unafraid to do some new things (while still remaining safe and smart LOL). Maybe you guys can relate to this!

3. Listen to music more

Yes, this relates to #1, but I love music so much and I want 2020 to emphasize my love for it a little more. Music gives me a rush, and some of my happiest moments are when I’m alone, windows down, breeze in my face, jamming to songs on the radio. More music in 2020, please!

4. Read more books

This was a resolution in 2019, but I think it’s a good one to continue for 2020. Reading is kind of like #3 in the fact that it gives me a rush, takes me to a new world, and provides a world of possibility unlike anything I will experience in my own waking life. I challenge you to read more as well! Let’s see what journeys we’ll go on through the books we read.

5. Fear less

I’m not fearless. In fact, as a Type A person (and wow, I still wonder if I’m really Type A or not), I’m very structured. I fear things I do not expect, and therefore I stress out about the what-ifs. So in 2020 I want to stay safe and healthy, but I also want to remember to fear less, to stay brave and strong instead of wallowing in the unknown.

6. Early bird habits

Now that I’m back from college I am excited to regain my early bird ways. In 2020 I want to keep this up, which means early bed times and early risings. But this is how I am most effective in my day-to-day existence, so I’m excited to develop my reliance on daylight instead of the dark.

7. Stay off phone

Another repeat from 2019, but this is just as valid. There are moments where I’m pretty good about this resolution, but then I lose it and do terrible once more. 2020 will hopefully bring a less technology reliant Katie Kay. But we’ll see…

8. Eat healthier

Ugh. I am gonna have to go there. This may be the most common resolution of all time, but there is truth in this one. I need to eat healthier. I’m a sucker for fast food, and I am  not the biggest fan of fruits by any means (just ask Miss Givenchy. In 2020 I hope to cut back on the ease of greasy foods for some healthier alternatives. Hopefully this is not just wishful thinking.

9. Keep up with my Spanish (y voy a escribir en el idioma también)

Okay, okay. I know I never write in Spanish on this blog, but it turns out I am actually (somewhat) fluent in this language. There was once a time when I lived in South America and was forced to speak Spanish more than here in the English-dominated United States, and I’m a little afraid I’m going to lose my skills now that I am done with college and pursuing a career that really has nothing to do with my degree. Therefore, I’ve gotta do something to retain this language and not lose it completely. Part of me will always speak Spanish, but I want to keep up my proficiency as best I can!

(Side note: I always say I am going to write a post in Spanish, but I always forget, so maybe that should be another resolution: Spanish posts in 2020!)

10. Stay up-to-date on politics

Without going on a rant (which I could very easily do), I want to say that politics is important. To my fellow Generation Zers, please get out there and do your due diligence by studying our government and voting. And I’m guilty in the sense that while I love nothing more than hopping on YouTube and listening to political pundits for hours at a time, I should do a better job on keeping a firm and open-minded approach to what’s going on both in my country and the world. It’s so easy to stay one-sided in today’s society, but I think the best way to solidify one’s opinions is to gain as much info as possible (even if opposing viewpoints make you want to tear your hair out).

11. Eliminate negative thoughts

This is an impossible resolution.

See what I did there? I immediately began with a negative thought. What about this one:

This is probably an impossible resolution.

Okay, slightly better, but still negative with a slight scent of optimism. Let’s try one more.

This is a possible resolution.

Is there a difference between this one and what I wrote above? Probably not.

This is my resolution.

There we go. It’s my resolution, and I’m sticking with it.

12. Catch more sunsets and sunrises

Oh, here my writer side takes over. Sunsets and sunrises, oh my! There’s something so dreamy about these two points in the day, especially when the sky churns into peachy cream and it’s spring and life seems ready to pop. So judge me if you will, but I do want to catch more sunsets and sunrises, especially since we don’t know how many of those we’ll get in our lives.

13. Exercise

Another basic resolution, but important too. This past year I really slacked off on not exercising, so I’m ready to start jogging at least once a month (LOL) instead of once a literal blue moon.

14. Clean more

While I love cleanliness, I’m also very prone to dropping things around my room. This year I plan on doing less of this and more of putting things where they’re supposed to be. 

15. Listen to dreams

I promise this is not mumbo jumbo. Specifically, I’m talking about listening to bedtime dreams so that I can analyze them (LOL). Do some of you guys find yourself loving dream analysis? Because I do too! Dream analysis is a great way to dig into your psyche, and for writers it’s a pretty neat time to get some inspiration for future material. In 2020 let’s dream–and analyze!

16. Get lost in a forest

Okay, yes, we’re getting into some weird territory on this resolutions post, but I’m serious: I want to get lost in a forest. Maybe not really lost, but there’s something freeing about going into nature and disappearing from the busyness of life for a little while. In 2020 I want to be able to go into some beautiful natural landscapes and let my mind relax.

17. Stop worrying so much

While I wouldn’t normally consider myself a worrier, I do find myself fretting over certain things. For example, I’ll consider something I’ve said and think, “Did that offend the person I was talking to?” Or if I send a text and don’t receive a response, I think: “Did I say something wrong?” This is just a minute example, but I really want to worry less in 2020 over both the little and big things. Chau!

18. Skate better

This is probably the most ridiculous resolution, but here we are. I’m one of the worst skaters in history (both on roller-skates and ice-skates). It is to the point of utter ridiculousness that I lean on my thirteen-year-old sister to support my endeavors in the rink. While I’ve definitely gotten better over the years (to the point where I can manage without falling), you can still find me hugging a wall and getting passed by toddlers. It’s time to skate better. 

19. Less time on YouTube

I’ll admit it: I’m on YouTube way too much. (Miss Givenchy would definitely agree.) Something happens, and I’ll traverse topics from politics to bullfrogs to space-time continuums to opinion pieces on pop music. While I appreciate the availability of information on this video sharing site, I want more time devoted to the real world outside of the tech world. (Of course I write this as I type away on a computer.)

20. Write blog posts that matter

This last one is straight from my heart! You guys mean the world to me, and I want to write things that matter to you. I’ve seen over the years that you guys are the best audience and you support so many different writers and bloggers all over the world, and so I want to produce content that you enjoy and gain meaning from. I mean, why else write? 🙂 Here’s to a fantastic 2020 on this blog–and yours!

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A double rainbow in Tennessee! (December 2019)

THANK YOU!

Thank you guys so much for reading this post and for joining me in another year on this planet. 2020 is upon us, and I wish nothing but the best for all of you, wherever you may be. Remember to spread positivity and kindness in this new season of our lives. ❤

Now that I’ve written this post, it’s time to put the resolutions to action, so I’m going to start right now, even though we’ve got a little bit of 2019 left. 

Until next time,

-K.

thoughts

2019 REFLECTION

Hello, my dear readers!

Can you all believe 2019 is coming to a close? It seems like every other month I would write something along the lines of: “How are we already in March? How is it already July? And now 2019 is over?” Well, that’s how time flies, I suppose!

In the spirit of last year’s 2018 Reflection, I decided to follow up with a 2019 Reflection as well. As always, I want to hear about your reflections, so do not be afraid to comment or share your own post with me so I can see what you’ve been up to this year. 🙂

2019 has been a year, that’s for sure, and it’s probably been very different for all of us. For some of you, it has been a year of definition, and you’re seeing more clearly as a result. But I bet for others it’s been a tough one, and you’re hoping 2020 will pave the way for a happier season in your life.

I’m in the middle on this one. 2019 was a year of definition, in the sense that I graduated college, furthered my aviation pursuits, and left California behind. But it was also a year in which I found myself doubting things and questioning why I didn’t do things a certain way.

The good thing for us all is that we have a fresh start to a new year coming up very soon. We can create new resolutions, live our lives more deeply, and accept the mysteries of time. But before we come up with any resolutions for 2019, let’s do a little reflecting…

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Beautiful Hawaii (July 2019)


1. Sometimes we do not know why things happen.

Who goes to college to become a better writer, only to end up majoring in Spanish and then finding out she wants to be a pilot her junior year? Well… Eep. Guilty as charged! This truly relates to the fact that sometimes we do not know why things happen the way they do, but we must learn to accept it and move on. Other times we sit and think, “Why hasn’t such and such thing happened yet? Why are things going the way I want them to?” Well, again, it’s time to accept and move on.

I love symbolism and finding out the hidden meaning in things, but 2019 has taught me that it takes time to fully discover anything. And to the unknown moments… Well, there is beauty in those moments as well, even when we want to know more than we do.


2. Fly your own heading.

Okay, I couldn’t not have an aviation-related topic, right? 🙂

This past year has been the most rewarding year in terms of following a journey that should have been begun years ago (which relates to #1). In April I earned my private pilot license. In August I earned my instrument rating. In October I became a ground instructor, and a week ago my dad and I became commercial drone pilots. (Okay, these may seem cool, but some of them are really easy to get, so I promise you can do it too! More on this to come in future posts, I promise.)

In the next month or so I will complete my commercial pilot certification, which will allow me to (finally) get paid for flying instead of paying to fly. Shortly after this I plan to become a CFI (certified flight instructor), which I am really excited to do! There is so much learning in teaching, and I will be very humbled to be able to train young pilots who want to pursue this route.

As for the past few months, I have flown constantly while maintaining a rigorous course load. Somehow I was able to overpower my initial time goal (in regards to flight hours) and found myself enamored with a certain airport in Paso Robles, California. (It became a running joke that I was always flying from Camarillo, CA, to Paso Robles.) When I wasn’t flying to Paso, I visited other haunts such as Monterey and almost-Sacramento in the north; San Diego to the south; and Sedona, Arizona, to the east. (I promise I will write on this soon!)


3. Cut out what distracts you.

For a while my friend and I were doing great with our limited technology mission. What I mean by this is that we both agreed we were spending too much time on our phones and made it our goal to stay off them. During this period I felt rejuvenated at all the things around me. Suddenly I had so much more time to do things away from the screen.

Unfortunately, I’ve gotten pretty bad at being on my phone again. So while this goal of 2019 really did help me for a while, I’ve been off-kilter with it recently. Therefore, I hope that in 2020 I will continue this mission and stay off my phone more.

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Blurry Los Angeles


4. Listen to your intuition.

Sometimes you have to listen to those unsubtle cues in your brain that are telling you to do something. I hope this doesn’t sound too pseudoscientific, but there is power in the mystery that hangs around us every day, and your intuition can be a powerful tool to help you in certain situations. To be honest, this point has guided me for the past few years now, not just in 2019. However, I still like to reflect on how intuition can certainly shape decisions and outcomes as well.


5. Personality types…

This may be the corniest thing on the list, but it’s something I want to reflect on. When I was in high school, I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. For those of you who aren’t goofballs like me, the MBTI is a personality test that splits you into four major facets: Extraversion/Introversion; Sensing/Intuition; Thinking/Feeling; and Judging/Perceiving.

For years I was an INFP according to this personality test, which means I considered myself a hippie-type who only thought about peace, happiness, and listening to others’ problems (love doctor, anyone?). While this is an extreme stereotype of this personality type, I really did think myself an INFP.

So when I took the test two months ago, I was shook (as the youth say these days) to discover I am actually an INFJ. More on this to come, but I am still reflecting on this personality change.

*Is it actually a personality change, though?* MYSTERY!

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A dork unleashed in the middle of the West (April 2019)


6. Care for others.

This should be an unspoken for us all, but due to our selfish nature we do not realize how important this should be in our lives. Consider Christmas, if you will. Does it feel better when you open a present, or does it feel better when your loved one opens the gift you intentionally made/bought for him/her? When you see his/her eyes light up and a smile flash? Hopefully it is the second option.

2019 has reminded me to care for others. This should be an every year reflection moment for us all… Because this world isn’t just about you. It’s about everyone you know,  and everyone you don’t.


YOUR REFLECTION.

So, my dear readers, now it’s your turn to reflect. What was the best part of your year? What was the worst? What do you want to change for next year? You have a few days to make resolutions, but just know that making a list of resolutions won’t change anything. Instead, your heart has to be in the right place. ❤

Thank you guys so much for joining me on this journey, and I'm excited to hear what you have to share!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay. ❤

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thoughts

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Hello, my dear readers!

Long time, no see. I am officially back to the blogging world, and I’m very excited for the new year ahead. I’ve got some ideas that I can’t wait to share here, and at the same time I am just as excited to read what you all have to share with me. ❤

In the meantime, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I hope that wherever you are in the world, you are happy, safe, and with those you love. It is holidays like these that remind of us of our blessings, and it is so crucial that we do take a moment to thank God for what He has given us.

Some of you probably aren’t the biggest fans of Christmas and the holiday season, but I urge you to consider what the season is all about. While society has made a big deal of the materialistic aspect of gifts, gifts, gifts, there is a deeper point to Christmas and why it applies to all of humanity. So… Without further ado, let’s look at some of the most important takeaways of Christmas.


1. GIFTS ARE TO BE GIVEN

It is no secret that you, me, all of humanity–we like getting gifts. We all want things. Some of us are hoping for a shiny engagement ring this Christmas; others hope for something as simple as a new pair of shoes. But in the midst of all this desire for things, we must remember that gifts are to be given.

Huh? What does this mean? Aren’t you supposed to give gifts so that you get what you want?

Well, not exactly. It is better to give gifts than to receive them. Why? Because you’re doing something for another person. You’re ignoring your own wants to provide the wants of another. And trust me, there’s nothing better than seeing your loved one (or a stranger, I might add) open a gift and smile bigger than Texas.


2. LOVE ON DISPLAY

The holiday season is about love. Without getting too soppy, I’ll say that the song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” is a good one to listen to. In these weeks of celebration, family is hugely important. Whether your family is blood, or your family is your friends (or maybe a pet LOL), you must be with them. Why do I require it? Because we don’t know how many Christmases we get on this planet, and it’s important that we savor family time while we have the chance.

And this is the perfect time to love on people, even if you want to slap them or disappear due to the family drama. And another thing, we’re not just supposed to love those we know. We’re called to love those we don’t know, and we must be kind to all we meet. That is what I love about the holidays: That, despite the manic tone in the air, there is also a feeling that… Maybe, just maybe… We can slow down and take the time to show kindness to those around us.


3. THE BIRTH OF THE SAVIOR

Some people don’t celebrate Christmas for this reason, but I’ll tell you that to me it is the most important. Christmas, which I like to think of as “More Christ” (Christ + más, which is “more” in Spanish), is the day in which we celebrate the birth of a particularly lovable baby named Jesus Christ, the very baby who would one day grow up and save the world. Sounds like a story, right?

True stories are the best kind.

No one really knows when Christ was born, but we take December 25 as an opportunity to commemorate the birth that would change everything in human history. Some speculate that his birth was actually in the springtime, but I’m going to be tart and say: I don’t really care when he was born. I care that he was born, and that he lives!

This is the true reason for the season, as they say. And even if you don’t believe, I ask you to read Luke 1:1-20 and Matthew 1 & 2:1-11. What does it hurt to read about a baby that was born to be the savior of the world? Even if you don’t think it’s true, you can’t not say it isn’t a compelling story. ❤


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I also like Christmas because of the crazy lights like this pink tree! (Memphis, TN / December 2019)

Merry Christmas, everyone! Again I am so glad to be back on this blog and posting content for you guys. But this is also an opportunity for me to get to know you all better, so keep writing and recommending things to me. I love hearing from you!! ❤

Until next time (which will be soon),

-Katie Kay

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writing

SHADOW (a short story)

SHE DID NOT know where she was going. She had no idea if she was headed north or south, although she could probably take a glance up into the night sky to follow the stars. What she did know was that her hands were glued to the steering wheel of this nondescript car, and the car kept straddling the lanes, unsure where she was going too.

“Where am I, where am I, where am I?” she hissed to herself, lungs quaking with fear. No one responded. Who would respond?

Momentarily she was blinded by the hot sting of her tears, and the pain inside her was enough to blind her forever. But her eyes stayed open, and she saw through the blurriness the straight-shot arrow of the pine-fenced road. The darkness was almost quaint, if she’d take a moment and soak it in, but now it felt dead and gloomy, an invitation to a sepulcher.

“Okay. Enough,” she muttered to herself, certain that her teeth would snap out of her head from her frayed nerves. She needed to keep it together—or at least act like she could. Of course, that was easier said than done. She needed a memory, an image, a vision, anything, to remind her that she knew who she was. She had to fight through it.

But in this darkness all she could think of was… Well, nothing good. What she remembered was suffocation, a kind of suffocation that terrified her more than the blackness outside. A suffocation from despair, a suffocation from nothing going to according to plan, a suffocation from the person she supposedly loved most in the world, and…

She whistled between her teeth and bit down hard. Her jaw ached, but she had to distract herself, and this slight pain drew her eyes down to the wedding ring, where her promise for forever was chained to her finger, her body. Maybe she shouldn’t go back into those dark memories that would swallow her up, those memories that would force her to relive the pain over and over again, each time in a slightly different way. Instead her gaze darted to the dashboard. Sixty miles per hour. Pretty fast for a hair-thin road, especially when there seemed to be some fog rolling in. She pushed her foot against the brakes.

Nothing.

Though the car wouldn’t brake, it felt like her heart had bounced out of its cavity and smashed straight into her bones. She gulped down bile and pressed her heel down once more.

Nothing.

She slammed on the brakes.

Nothing.

She floored the gas pedal, and the car galloped to seventy.

“You’ve got to be kidding!” she screamed, punching the wheel, her knuckles bruising.

Realizing it wouldn’t do her any good to wound herself further, she concentrated on keeping the violence down, and considered some possibilities. Maybe she was dreaming, and this was some terrible, acidic nightmare that she’d laugh at in the morning, try to interpret with the Internet’s help; maybe this was her brain’s way of compensating for some traumatic event (and there were plenty of those to pick from), and she needed a good night’s rest; maybe she was just being silly, and needed to try the brakes one more time.

If there was a time to pray, it was now.

She did. Nothing happened.

Which meant that there was one more possibility, one that she refused to accept just yet: This was real. The car was moving all on its own.

Her hands unclenched from the wheel, and the car steered itself. It went perfectly with the road, as if it was a train on the tracks. And she knew the car wasn’t controlling her body, but it felt like it. Her chest hurt, and she gripped her collarbone, aching to breathe properly again—needing to breathe properly again. The bruises were nothing new, but they ached more and more with each passing mile, as she escaped farther and farther away, as she entered the unknown more and more. Her eyes bubbled with tears again, and she was certain she was losing it. This had to be a nightmare. It had to be.

But why did everything feel so real?

Something flashed nearby, a light sparking to life. The bright glow belonged to her cell phone that had fallen onto the floor of the passenger’s seat.

“At least the car is driving itself,” she hissed, and stretched herself to fish the phone from the darkness. She scooped it up and was ensnared by the simple text message that had made its way through, a remnant of her true life. The life she had abandoned in favor of this mysterious bolt from everything she had ever known.

Her collarbone ached.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

The slow drag under. She felt like she was in a pool, and someone was taking her by the back of the head, pulling her deeper.

WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER ME?

Why had she brought the phone? She should have left it elsewhere, tossed it out the window, so there would be no trace. So there would be no ability to fall for any more of his traps. He loved to set them, just for her. And when she’d realized how many of them waited for her, it was too late. Her misery was something she could change, but it would cost her everything she had: mental, physical, emotional. She just had to escape. She had to get out of there, even if it was the middle of the night, even if it was to nowhere at all. Nowhere was better than where she’d been before.

SARAH, I’M SORRY. JUST PLEASE ANSWER ME, OKAY?

She lifted her eyes again and caught the glimpse of the rearview mirror. The person she expected to see was not there, and in her stead was a morphed version of herself, an image of horror and grief. There were spots all over her face, violet and ugly. While she was revolted at the sight of herself, she barely moved, unable to believe the image she saw. How could she believe it, even when the proof of her pain was as clear as this? But suddenly… Something didn’t seem right. She knew she was hypersensitive—she had to be—but this was different. She scrutinized the mirror and felt her blood boil when, in the empty backseat, something shifted in the pitch black.

She screamed, slammed on the brakes again, and the car flew off the side of the road, crash landing in a nearby ditch.

A few seconds passed. Silent seconds, until there was a slight dripping noise. The stink of oil and blood rose through the air, and Sarah realized that a few drops of scarlet had fallen from her nose onto her wrists. Something sharp cut into her neck, a silver cross necklace. She then noticed that she was hanging upside down, her dark hair tumbled below her.

This night is never going to end, she thought to herself.

Everything seemed hazy, surreal, as if gravity itself did not work properly here. As if time did not work properly here. As if certain moments sped up like a bullet, and others slowed to a trot.

A car crash. She’d just been in a car crash. Her body was buzzing from the pain, but she gritted her teeth and managed to unbuckle herself. Before she knew it she was falling to the ground. She collected herself like a wounded animal and crawled through the broken window, surprised at the ease it took her to get out of the mangled car. Sarah pushed herself up from the wet, muddy earth and stood, analyzing the sight of the mess before her. She was really lucky, she decided, to have survived. Maybe it was more than luck. Luck didn’t seem to fit the bill when it came to how crushed the car was. A little ounce of hope dawned over her. It had to be a good thing she survived this, right? It had to mean something. She had been a survivor all her life, especially in these past few weeks, when his hands had sucked each breath out of her lungs.

As the thoughts flickered away, Sarah’s neck burned. She pushed her hand against a thin trickle of blood from where her necklace had cut her, and she repositioned it so the cross hung properly against her neck. Her fingers grazed against the silver.

Sarah walked along the back of the car. The license plate seemed to be the only thing still in one piece, tags from Georgia. How had she made it out of this? The sight before her was brutal. She kneeled down and examined the broken window she’d climbed through. She had to be careful, as she didn’t want to pierce her skin amidst the endless shards of glass, but her curiosity was killing her. She’d been stupid not to check the car when she had the chance. Yes, she’d been overwhelmed by the fact that the car was practically driving itself; in fact, it wasdriving itself, and she’d only been able to stop it when…

Her heart fell into her chest.

Sarah gulped and fell back, the shards of glass piercing her. Her body twisted from her awkward fall, and in the process she caught a glimpse of a dark figure emerging from the broken window. She bounced away as fast as she could, but she knew she was too slow.

She ran out onto the road, her throat raw from shrieking. There was no one out tonight, no one at all, and she felt the hope dissipate when she considered that she hadn’t seen a single car in what felt like months. Why couldn’t there be another car? Why did she ache to escape into the maddening darkness instead of a big city? He’d try to find her no matter where she went. It was her fault she craved isolation.

Isolation. The thing that had propelled her here. How she ached for it, and now she was here in this horrible nightmare. That thing in her backseat was the whole reason she’d crashed anyway, she remembered now: Ithad been there, an obscure shifting thing. She’d seen it in the rearview window, and it had terrified her so much that she’d driven straight off the road.

Sarah was definitely crazy. At least she knew that now. A woman who’d hopped into a black car in the middle of the night to escape her violent husband? Believable. But a woman who’d imagined a dark figure in her backseat? Who’d envisioned a car that wouldn’t brake or drive like she’d wanted it to? Maybe she was on drugs. Had she taken any drugs? Had she beendrugged?

She had to have made it up. She’d been running for a while now, and she was so tired, and her body hurt so much. All she had to do was take a peek over her shoulder, see if she was still being followed, but it was very possible that nothing would be there, that it had all been in her head. She’d been told that for months now, that she didn’t really know anything at all. So how was this any different?

Sarah was scared, but she paused in her tracks and turned around. At first, there was only the road again. Out in the distance was the glimmer of the totaled car, but there was nothing on the road. No psychotic masked ogre following her with a hatchet. No, there were only peaceful pines that seemed to blow back and forth in the gentle night breeze. And that creepy fog that seemed to inch closer and closer to her as time bled on.

Peaceful.

Almost.

As she rolled her eyes at how stupid she’d been, how crazy she must be, the hairs on the back of her neck rose, and her hands shook. She looked down at them and remembered the shards. In the moonlight her skin appeared normal. Normal for her. The bruises on her arms still glowed, imprints of man’s violence toward her. But where there should have been blood from the car crash, there was none. In fact, her entire body seemed to float, though she was tethered to the ground by fear.

The breeze pounded into her, and then there was a whistle, shrill and fierce. A garbled voice whispered into her ear: “Move.”

Sarah froze.

It said again, more forcefully this time: “Move!”

It had to be right there. It had to be, and before she lost her nerve, she needed to twist around to confront the dark figure. The thing that had been in her backseat. But before she could, the road lit up with the high beams of an approaching minivan.

A force slammed into her. Sarah was unsure what propelled her out of its way in time, but she fell to the shoulder of the road as the van whizzed by. As she stared down the street, the haze coming closer and closer, the van suddenly screeched to a halt. The entire image seemed vague, out of focus, as she pushed herself up and raced back to the scene of the crash. Sarah screamed as loud as she could, hating the sound of her voice, but she needed this driver to acknowledge her. He’d take her to the hospital, save her from this black hell, and she’d never go outside again. She’d never step foot in a car again, either. No, she’d walk everywhere from here on out, and that way no dark figure would appear in her backseat ever again. No dark figure would strike out against her ever again, whether that be a person she loved or a shadow in the blackness. She would make sure of that.

When she neared the van, she felt relief and hurried up to the driver. He was a middle-aged man, clean-cut. A woman appeared beside him seconds later, and she must have been his wife, because her wedding and engagement rings glinted in the light. She yelled at someone in the back of the van. Must be their kid. A beautiful, happy family. A family brought into her horror, she realized guiltily.

Sarah shouted, “It was me! I need your help! This is my car!”

But the man seemed to care less. He was stepping closer to the wreck, a pained look on his face. Why wasn’t he listening? Sarah was screaming so loud, but he refused to acknowledge her. She moved up to him, patting him on the shoulder, but he didn’t budge.

“Scott,” said the wife, tears in her eyes, “we should call the cops. Call someone to get out here. Let them handle it. Don’t go over there.”

The fog came closer.

Her husband shook his head. “What if somebody’s in there? Someone was obviously driving it.”

“Me! I’m right here!”

The woman’s lip quivered. “Do you really think you’re going to find anybody in there?”

“Call the cops,” said Scott. “Don’t come near it, okay?”

Sarah felt like her heart would rip right out of her. Why couldn’t they hear her? They didn’t need to go to the car, not when she was right here. She was right here. “Why can’t you hear me? I’m okay, I’m alive!”

“Make sure the kids don’t see anything, okay?” Scott added, a thousand lines cutting across his forehead. He couldn’t have been older than thirty, but he seemed to have aged ten years in two minutes.

“All right,” agreed his wife, pulling out her cell phone.

Sarah’s bones hurt again. She screamed, terrorized by the fact that this couple didn’t seem to see her. Did anyone ever really see her? She trailed the man named Scott to the mangled car, and she heard him cough in disgust. She felt his terror when he stumbled back from the car, a grown man who’d seen too much, and she saw him vomit and recoil, hurrying away from what he’d seen.

“Why can’t you hear me?” she yelled at him. Why did this keep happening? She wanted some control back. She wanted her choice, her freedom. It had been gone so long. “Why won’t you listen? Why won’t anyone ever listen? What did you see?”

The stillness seemed to spin. Things were misting up again, as if she was experiencing severe vertigo. She tried to keep herself up, but when she heard Scott’s cries she shut her eyes and imagined herself a world away. Somewhere with a sunny sky, a tropical beach, her hand unmarked by the curse of a wedding ring. The thought woke her back to life, a place where suffocation would swallow her up. She’d never forget what had happened. It was her curse to bear. It wasn’t fair; it never was. But it was still here, just the same, even as she hurled her wedding ring into the crushed car. She should have tossed it into the darkness long ago.

The mist was sweeping over the trees now, sweetly devouring everything in its path. With visibility diminishing faster and faster, Sarah watched as the man named Scott rushed to his boring but practical little minivan. He wrapped his arms around his wife, tears dropping down his skin. Oh, how he would never let go. Oh, how his wife wouldn’t either. And, oh, how Sarah would always understand the feeling, the feeling that no one would ever let go, since the memories would stay with her forever, even when her own body did not.

Time sped up again, a mental mist hanging over like a veil. She was there, but she knew she wasn’t. Not really, or they’d be able to hear. They’d try to hear. And suddenly then there were cops and EMTs and passersby and the minivan and the darkness and the fear and the mist, a collection of souls who should not have been there to assess the wreckage. But it was their job to do so. She stood in the midst of them all, as they collected her physical body from the wreckage and they said things they didn’t think she could hear:

Oh, how sad it is.

Wonder if she was drinking.

Such a beautiful girl.

Not so much anymore.

Not so much anymore.

She listened to those who would never listen to her back. The fog came closer.

At some point, something caught her eye. A flash of moonlight spilled down onto the shiny, broken metal of the car like a spotlight. A shapeless black figure stood at the spot where she’d died. The thing was unimaginable, but it was there just the same. Maybe it too listened to those who would never listen to it back.

Sarah breathed the rich pine-scented air all around her. At least she could breathe again. “What do you want?” she asked.

“Move,” it said.

Somehow she understood what this meant. It was giving her a choice. She bit her lip. Her collarbone ached. Some scars never go away. If she followed the shadow, she was unsure where she’d go. But if she didn’t follow the shadow, she’d be stuck here, rooted in place, unsure where she’d go but alone.

The figure seemed to accept her resistance, and then it glided beyond the car. It passed by the men in uniform. It hovered over one man’s shoulder in particular, as if sensing something for future reference. But then it turned back around, and it continued on its path, slowly and quickly approaching the flash of a beautiful black car on the road. Shiny and new it gleamed.

As Sarah followed, she became aware that the fog hung all around the car, eventually closing up any connection to the realm where she’d once lived, and once died. It was a dismal fresh start, but it was an opportunity, and so she followed. Her blood boiled with nerves, but she’d made her choice. Sarah pinched the cross on her neck. It was the only thing she’d kept of herself.

The car door was already open for her. She took a seat, things feeling eerily familiar, eerily normal. There was a dull throb in her body which she was sure would never go away, as certain suffocations remain with us even after we’re dead. The door closed, she buckled her seatbelt tight against her abdomen, and she checked the rearview mirror, finding her shadow snug in the backseat.

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, is it?” she asked, not expecting a response.

“Move,” said the shadow.

She hit the gas pedal. The fog lifted, and the car blasted off down the road.

thoughts

GIVE THANKS

Hello, my dear readers!

I hope all is well with you in your nook of the world. ❤ In the United States it is time to celebrate Thanksgiving, in which it is very important to take a moment and reflect on what you are thankful for. For some of you guys, this may be a day off work; for others it may be the fact that you are at home with family after months of being apart. And for some of you… You’re probably thinking: What in the world even is Thanksgiving, and why does it matter?

That is why I have a few things I want to explicitly state my thanks for! I did this last year as well, but I really do believe it is important to give thanks for all the blessings in this life. Even when we are in our lowest of lows, we must remember that we have things to be thankful for. ❤


1. FAMILY

We all should be thankful for our families, even if we want to strangle them at times. This Thanksgiving I am extremely happy to be back at home with my parents and sister, and it is moments like this when I remember how fortunate I am to be with them. We don’t know how much time we have on this planet, so we must make sure we express our feelings accordingly.


2. FREEDOM

In the United States we are very familiar with the concept of freedom, and it’s something to truly appreciate. Many men and women have died so that we can live with the freedoms this country provides, so I will be eternally grateful for this.


3. FRIENDS

It is also very important to show your gratitude and appreciation for friends, whether you have fifty of them or two. Whatever you do, make sure you tell your friends why you love them and lift them up, even when you want to strangle them. (Please do not strangle your friends.)


4. FLYING

During the Thanksgiving holiday I am thankful for the opportunity to fly home from California to Tennessee. But also on a different level… I am very thankful to be able to fly as it will become my career. Therefore, this is something I am happy to have discovered, and I am thankful for everyone who is helping me achieve my goals!


5. YOU

Thank you so much for reading this blog, and I am thankful for each and every one of you. You guys are amazing, and I hope you know this in your hearts. Now remember to give thanks for these things in your own life, and also consider making a list so you can identify what matters to you.

Give thanks! It is my command for you on this day.

Stay warm and happy!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay ❤

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updates

I DISAPPEARED (again)

Hello, my dear readers!

Let me apologize again for going MIA once more. While producing quality content for you guys is one of my greatest joys, these past few weeks have been intense. I cannot wait for the days when I will be able to write more, and those days are coming soon (I promise!).

Since I’ve been gone for a few weeks now, I thought it would be fun to give a little update post as to what’s been going on. Before I do that, though, I want to say that I miss reading your posts and getting to know you guys better. Here in a few weeks I will be reading all that you guys have for me, just so keep that in mind. 🙂

So… Without further ado. Here we go!

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Clouds over Malibu, CA (November 2019)


1. BATTLING QUITE THE COUGH

A few years ago I made the interesting choice to study abroad in Argentina, and one of the lasting effects of that decision is the fact that I have a violent cough that comes back twice a year. I’m pretty sure it is chronic bronchitis, but my university’s doctors do not believe that (of course not, right?). So in a few weeks I’ll be making the trip over to a lung specialist to see how damaged my lungs are.


2. FLYING BEYOND BELIEF

In the past few months I’ve accrued about 100 hours of flight time. The reason I’m writing this on the blog is that I want you guys to know that I haven’t been intentionally ignoring you; I’ve been swamped with other things. (Although I hardly count flying as forcing me anywhere but into the clouds, and I like being in the clouds LOL).


3. HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK

As a college kid there is a lot of work to do. Factor in five classes, even if the degree is only in Spanish, and there’s much to do. Most of my free time is eaten up this way, but I want to alert you guys to the fun news that I’ll be done with this in three short weeks. That’s right, I’m graduating college. Chau, California! (And I say this happily.)


4. THE SHORT STORY SURPRISE IS COMING SOON

Here in a few weeks I will release a short story I wrote for creative writing class called “Shadow.” It’s pretty dramatic, and I was hoping to release it back in October in time for Halloween. However, I forgot that I can’t release it until I’m done with class, so I will be posting it here shortly. 🙂


THANK YOU!

As always, thank you guys for being part of this journey. All your support has meant so much to me, even when I’m not as active on the blog. Don’t worry, that will change soon!

Now… How are you guys doing? Keep me updated, and I promise I will be following all you’re producing so, so soon!

Until next time,

-Katie Kay ❤

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