poetry

ANXIETY (a poem)

Feel it through your veins,
The mighty rush of your blood:
An emotion undulating and spreading,                                                 A virus that is you and no one else.

Your heart, palpitating like a drum,                                                       And your lungs, wings like butterflies;                                                 Your stomach in knots, and hands
like oil: Feel it roil right through you.

You wait for the perfect moment,                                                           Unsure of when it will come.
Feel your body ache, and your mind                                                     Tighten. This may never go away.

You climb higher, hoping, praying                                                         For release. But you can’t close your                                                 Eyes, no matter how hard you try.                                                     Feel its hook that won’t let you go.


AN EXPLANATION.

IMG_5182
Santa Ynez Mountains, California (October 2016) Yes, I am doing something quite stupid in this picture. This is an abandoned home on a mountaintop, and I’m standing on easily collapsible stone…

This is a poem I wrote for a creative writing class in October 2018, so not that long ago. At this time, I was struggling with bouts of nervous energy, here and there, and when the assignment came about to “write a poem about your day-to-day existence,” this little guy was borne.

However, I believe this poem can connect to anyone, since we all face moments of self-doubt and confusion as to who we are and why we are placed in the situations that cause us pain. It is easy to forget that everyone experiences these emotions, even when we are taught to smile and bear our struggles in silence.

Looking back, I find this to be an interesting poem that channels what I was feeling when I wrote it. It is relevant to when I have these moments of anxious energy bubbling up beneath my skin, and therefore I wanted to share it with you guys!

I hope you are all doing well wherever you are in this great world of ours. It is rainy here in Southern California as I write this, and I am amazed by how amazing weather can be. Anyway, I will post on Monday, so check out for the next rant from me.

Until next time,

-K. 🙂

 

 

thoughts

5 TIPS FOR STRESS (ahhh!)

For the past few days, I have been struggling with something that feels a whole lot like anxiety. I’m not sure why I’m feeling this way, because nothing should be wrong, but I like to keep this blog transparent and open.

While I deal with stress every so often, I’ve never felt quite like this. It attacks randomly in the middle of the night, when I’m happily asleep in bed, and it’ll wake me up from the freedom of my dreams. It will strike while I’m working on schoolwork or with friends, and I’m completely baffled by what’s going on.

For the next few months, I have decided to take a break from writing. I will still write on my blog, but I wrote so furiously over the summer because I knew school was coming up, and I need to put my extra efforts into my private pilot license. Therefore, I do believe some of this anxiety stems from the fact that I am not writing, and that has always been an outlet for me.

I thought it would be beneficial to jot down some of my favorite stress tips, for you if you need them, and definitely for my own countenance. Everyone deals with that nervous flutter in your stomach, or thoughts that just won’t slow down, so hopefully these tips are applicable to everyone out there reading this.


1. WRITE WRITE WRITE

I am assuming most of those who read this blog are writers. You guys know what it’s like to get an absolute rush of adrenaline while working on a project, and the pitfalls of writer’s block. However, it has been scientifically proven that writing your own thoughts (if you’re like me and love writing fiction, sorry, it’s time to get a journal) helps your negative emotions flutter away.

Is it a permanent solution? Maybe not. But there is beauty to stripping yourself down to the bone, analyzing what you’re thinking and feeling, and realizing that you may have to change yourself in order to improve.


2. EXERCISE (eeeep!)

This one is tough. Some of you love exercise, and probably the majority of you aren’t the biggest fan. That being said, working out releases endorphins, which are basically happy hormones, into the bloodstream. This can relieve stress tremendously, and you’re listening to your body at the same time you are healing your mind.

I know that exercise can be painful and boring and monotonous. Whenever I jog on the treadmill, I find myself getting so bored. This is just a mental roadblock created by my brain, because I’m a lazy person. I need to learn to fight through things and work for what I want to be. Exercise isn’t the be all and end all of proper healing, but it is a tip.


3. TALK TO SOMEONE

Over the course of my adolescence and young adulthood, I’ve grown a trait that annoys people to no end. I’m particularly cryptic, and this is because I love keeping my emotions locked up tight. As a writer, I’ve learned to unleash emotions in all of my characters. As a regular person, I’m quite the opposite. I don’t want to be seen as vulnerable. I don’t want people to worry about me. And normally, I’m just fine.

However, I’ve learned that sometimes one should open up. It is selfish to keep yourself locked away like a medieval princess. People truly care about you, and it’s selfish not to be honest with them and let them know what is in your heart.

My roommate loves “Late night chats.” When I first heard the idea, I was absolutely confused. What did that mean, and why does anyone want to late night chat? Basically, the situation is that the two of us will share our thoughts and feelings from the day before we go to bed.


4. READ THE BIBLE

This can apply to anyone out there. I know some of you guys aren’t Christian, but this can apply to you as well. The Bible has amazing, comforting passages that stir thoughts and reduce stress.

 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life” (Matthew 6:25-27)


5. BE HONEST W/YOURSELF

This is hugely, grandly mega-important. One must be honest with him or herself always. It is crucial to remember that you are only responsible for yourself and your actions. If you want to be a better person, it’s up to you. While communicating with others is also essential, the biggest component lies within yourself.

Honesty is key. Honesty leads to a better outlook, despite the consequences. Honesty asks you to humble yourself for the betterment of those around you. Honesty requires patience and belief.

It requires thought. Your thought.


There you go. This has been beneficial to me, just to jot my thoughts down. 🙂

Maybe it would help you, with whatever you may be going through, to also jot down some tips. These tips could apply to anything in the world, but it would allow you to ruminate over your journey so far, and… In the future, it will act as a stake in the ground to see how far you’ve come.

Until next time,

-K.

P.S. My next post will deal with writing, I promise!!!